Wrong Directions

 MEGAN: 26, F, Skinny, pale, slightly past shoulder length pink hair, competitive art student, likes to party, soft and kind voice, half sleeve of tattoos, unique sense of style, no makeup, struggling financially

ROSE: 19, F, blonde hair, messy bun, light makeup, short, plays piano, cute long sleeves, light purple clothes, dumb

JOHN: 45, M, attractive smile, green eyes, dark brown hair with a few grey ones, wearing a suit and briefcase, speaks with warm words, wedding ring on

Upscale Italian restaurant, dim lighting, red plush chairs, small candlelit tables, man singing in Italian in the background, waiters all around, dressed in white button-downs and black vests 

MEGAN: So, what did you want to talk about? 

ROSE: Well… (takes deep breath) I’ve been kind of struggling recently. (Stutter) I.. I.. I just feel like (starts talking really fast, ranting) I have way too much on my plate right now with school and piano lessons and sometimes I feel really dumb in my classes but like it’s not MY fault I wasn’t ever taught how to long divide Ididn’t make the curriculum for my middle school math classes and just because I can’t keep up in some of my courses doesn’t mean I’m stupid or something. And you know what else? My friends have been so annoying recently like just yesterday one of them refused to empty the dishwasher but I was busy all day with school and my lessons that I didn’t have time to do it and the least that she could do is realize that I have a life outside of the kitchen and help me out! Sometimes -- 

MEGAN: (Cuts Rose off) Dude, take a breath. It’s just the start of the school year… You’ve only lived with these people for a few weeks, just try to tell them that you’re feeling overwhelmed and I’m sure they’ll help you out. 

ROSE: Yeah... I mean I guess. It’s just hard sometimes. I guess I’m having a hard time adjusting to living in a new city. Is anything happening in your life you wanna talk about? 

MEGAN: Well a couple weeks ago I was at this club called Doheney Room in the city and I met this guy. His name is Jack but all my friends call him ‘new money Persian’ because well... he’s super rich but it’s all new money and he’s also Persian. Anyway, we ended up hanging out a couple times since we’ve met and I think I’m into him. It’s just hard to balance a relationship and school projects all at the same time. 

ROSE: I definitely understand where you’re coming from, that’s exactly how I’m feeling! Do you think you’ll keep seeing him? 

MEGAN: Well, there are a lot of perks to being with him. Like, he said that he’s moving out of his apartment into a bigger one and that I could have his huge bean bag chairs which is seriously a dream of mine. But, when I was Ubering home the next day I told my Uber driver about the whole situation and as I was getting out of the car he tried to have an intervention with me and tell me that money isn’t what I should be looking for in a guy. I don’t really know what that’s all about, so I think I’ll keep seeing him until I find a real reason not to. 

ROSE (Laughing): Uber drivers can be so random!

(John, the Uber driver, sitting at a nearby table alone turns around and faces the girls) 

JOHN: Hey wait... did I drive you the other day? I’m an Uber driver and that story sounds so familiar. Sorry for listening in on your conversation, I couldn’t help but distract myself from the incessant Italian music playing in this place. 

ROSE: Are you kidding? That’s so funny... (phone buzzes)... OH my god. I have to go; Megan I’ll talk to you later. (Grabs jacket off chair and sprints out of the restaurant, grabbing extra pieces of bread from the table as she leaves and shoving them in her purse).  

MEGAN (Now sitting alone at her table, faces John): Yeah… I think it was you. 

JOHN: Listen, (smiles his cute smile), I didn’t mean to offend you. I just think that a girl like you deserves better than someone like this new money Persian guy even if he is giving you a giant bean bag chair—and by the way, I’m pretty sure they’re called love sacs. 

(John moves over to Megan’s table, slipping off his wedding ring while he moves over... they’re now sitting together). 

JOHN: You shouldn’t settle for the first person who comes along. (John motions to a waiter to get them a new basket of bread because Rose took all of it as she ran away). 

MEGAN: I never said I was settling! He’s just nice to me and there’s no harm in that. And honestly, (Picks up a few pieces of bread, aggressively dips them in oil and shoves them in her mouth)it’s not really any of your business. I’m sick of people thinking they can just waltz on into my life and tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. 

JOHN: Woah, woah, woah… I wasn’t trying to take control of your life or anything… I just think you’re a beautiful young girl and you deserve to be happy. I’ve made a few mistakes in my life, and I don’t want to see anyone repeat those mistakes. 

MEGAN: Listen, I don’t know you. And you don’t know me! You know what? (Waves hand in air, shouting) Waiter! Waiter! Can you pleeeeaseee get me a bottle of wine? (Looks over at John) You drink, right? Perfect! We’ll have two then 

JOHN: Megan, --- 

MEGAN (Interrupting): John! 

JOHN: Can I talk to you about something? 

MEGAN: I mean... sure… I didn’t really ask you to sit down here, but now that we’re so deep into my business I might as well learn a little more about yours. 

JOHN: Growing up, I thought I had it all figured out. 

MEGAN (Under her breath): Here we go… 

JOHN: I met this girl in high school. She was really cool, super popular. You know the type I’m sure… Anyway, every guy in school wanted her. What they didn’t know though, is that she actually had a cool personality. I, being the gentleman I am, took it upon myself to get to know her past the surface. Most guys just wanted to get into her pants, and I can’t say I didn’t, but I figured I should probably get to know her first. 

MEGAN: Are you… going somewhere with this? 

JOHN: So, one day I asked her on a date. She said yes, 

MEGAN (Sarcastically): No surprise there! 

(WAITER, wearing black pants, white button up shirt, red tie and black apron. Comes out with bottle of red wine, pours a heavy cup for both Megan and John and turns away) 

MEGAN (to waiter): Wait! (Waiter spins around) You can leave the bottle. (smirks at John). 

JOHN: And I took her to my favorite restaurant, Olive Garden. 

MEGAN: Wait – You’re kidding (Breaks out into laughter). Olive Garden?? 

JOHN: I’m from a small town! That was the nicest place they have… That’s not important! What matters is what happens next. 

MEGAN: Alright, alright. Lay it on me! 

JOHN: While we were at Olive Garden, I really got to know her. She told me about her passion for cheer, how she wanted to be a neurosurgeon, and how her little sister can be such a pest sometimes. Through it all, I really started to feel comfortable around her. 

MEGAN: Wow! Shocking to hear what getting to know a girl before you make a move can be like. 

JOHN: You’re not seeing the point, Megan. 

MEGAN: No, I do understand. (picks up her cup of wine off the table and finishes it in one big sip). What you’re assuming here, is that I’m only in my relationship because I’m interested in his money. I mean, it’s not even fair to call it a relationship we literally barely know each other. And the whole point in you telling me that story was to show me the importance of getting to know someone, right? Did I ever say I wasn’t going to get to know him? Just because he has money, and because I see that as a strike in his pro-column doesn’t mean that I’m not interested in actually having a relationship with him. I mean–really! What is it about me that makes people think— 

JOHN (in shock): Megan… I’m sorry… I really wasn’t… (Megan starts pouring a new glass of wine for herself) I didn’t mean… Listen, you seem really nice and I just wanted to make sure you don’t make a mistake. 

MEGAN: You’ve said that, and I (begins to slur words) assure you that I am NOT making any mistakes here. 

JOHN: Okay, okay! Beautiful girls like you shouldn’t get so worked up, especially not over a nice dinner (winks at her while playing with his wedding ring in his hand under the table). 

MEGAN: (Laughs, blushing): Okay John, tell me a little bit about yourself (Twirls strand of hair between fingers). 

JOHN (Smiling): Well, let’s start with I’m an Uber driver by choice. NOT by necessity. A lot of people make the assumption that all Uber drivers aren’t economically stable or not have real jobs. That’s not true about me at least! 

MEGAN: I wouldn’t ever assume that about you! What do you do otherwise?

JOHN: Well, I started a new dating app. It’s kind of revolutionary, really. The whole idea is based on your location, profiles for potential ‘matches’ (finger quotes) come up on your screen and you can swipe up if you like them or swipe down if you don’t. 

MEGAN: Wow! 

JOHN: Yeah, I know. Pretty cool. (Shrugs) But we’re still dealing with semantics and small technical details with the apple store. In the meantime, that’s why I’m Uber driving. Obviously not because I need it, as a tech entrepreneur, but just like If I meet someone on the job that I think would be interested I can tell them about the app. But come on, that’s enough about me. What’s your favorite movie?

MEGAN: Hmmm… That’s SUCH a hard question (giggling).

JOHN: Well, I’ve got a pretty busy day tomorrow. Lots of meetings and stuff—you know, basic app building stuff whatever. But, if you’re free the rest of the night, and since your friend had to run out of here so quickly, maybe you’d be interested in coming to my place and I can help you figure out which movie is your favor­—. 

MEGAN: You’re kidding. 

JOHN: I’m—

MEGAN: You realize I saw you right… You’re not as sly as you think. (Grabs his hand from under the table, and pulls the wedding ring out, holding it up) You’re REALLY not as sly as you think. How are you going to literally spend the night telling me who I should and shouldn’t date, and what exactly I should and shouldn’t be interested in while you’re here actively trying to cheat on your wife? (Stands up from table, throwing wedding ring into John’s food) You’re completely full of shit! (Picks up glass of water, throws it in JOHNS face, begins to walk away but turns around swiftly) And by the way! Your app already exists! It’s called tinder! And it’s literally based on judging someone based on their looks instead of getting to know them! (Megan storms out of restaurant, John stays seated staring at the ring in his food. Lights go dark).