The Duality of Walls
SHANNON: Mid 50’s, lightly tanned skin, shoulder length blonde hair, light clothes for the summer, speaks with a soft southern accent.
MIKE: Mid 50’s, darker tanned skin, shaggy salt and pepper hair, worn blue jeans and green polo shirt.
SAVANNAH: 17 years old, tan skin, shoulder length brown hair with highlights, light pink tank top and jean shorts.
IZZY: 15 years old, tan skin, waist length brown wavy hair, t-shirt and running shorts.
NARRATION:Izzy’s voice.
SCENE 1: Family living room, just before noon. White walls with large, glass windows, wooden floor. Two big brown leather slightly worn couches, glass table in the center. SHANNON and MIKE in the living room standing by the doorway. On other side of wall is a room, blank walls with just a bed inside. Screen hangs above set. “Four years ago” projects on the screen.
SHANNON(Speaking softly): We have to tell them, Mike, I.. I (holding back tears) I just don’t know how.
MIKE: Oh Shan, (moves in for soft hug) Let me deal with this. You’ve done enough. (Calling out loudly) Izzy! Savannah! Can you guys come upstairs?
(Sounds of doors opening and closing in the distance, four sets of footsteps (two dogs, two girls) can be heard coming up the stairs.)
SAVANNAH: What? I’m in the middle of getting ready.
IZZY: I have plans to leave for Ricardo’s with Annalise and Ellen soon!
MIKE: You guys, we have to have a conversation. Please come sit down with your Mom and I.
(IZZY and SAVANNAH look at each other with confused and worried looks, both walk into the room. SAVANNAH picks up one of the dogs, Chino, and sits next to MIKE on one couch. IZZY sits next to SHANNON on the other couch.)
MIKE: Last night your mom was with Sean. He passed away this morning.
(The room is silent for three long seconds.)
IZZY(staring at ground): I don’t understand.
SHANNON: After we all went to see him a few days ago, things got a lot worse. I think he was waiting for you to get back to say goodbye. Two days ago, he lost the ability to speak, but before that he made sure to tell me how proud he was of you (starts softly crying) and that he loves you both so much. He said “Teebah, I don’t want to let them go” (begins to cry harder) He loved you both so much please remember that…
(SAVANNAH begins to cry, hugging the dog in her arms. IZZY gets up and runs out of the room, lights dim in living room, SHANNON, MIKE, SAVANNAH continue to hug and cry inaudibly. Lights turn up in blank room, bed in center, next to living room so you can still see the other characters. IZZY sits with back against bed. Head buried in knees, not making noise.Screen projection begins: close up of IZZY’S face looking straight forward tears running softly down. Narration begins.)
NARRATION: Don’t start crying, don’t let them see you break. Keep yourself together because they need you now. You knew this was coming soon so don’t let it ruin you, he wouldn’t want that and you know it. Text Annalise and tell her what’s happening. Go about your day. You’ll be okay. Just push it down, and bottle it up. Don’t let it hurt you.
(Projector goes black, Sound in other room starts again, IZZY gets up and walks off stage.Lights all go dark.)
SCENE 2: PROJECTOR reads “Three years ago”. Outside at the Maroon Bells, in Aspen, CO. SHANNON carries an urn of ashes. SAVANNAH, MIKE, and IZZY walk alongside her to the lake.
SHANNON(Bending down to the water, takes a handful of ashes and lets them go in the water):I have so many memories of you. You were my everything, Sean. Nobody knew how to make me laugh like you did. Nobody will ever understand what we’ve been through. (MIKE, SAVANNAH, IZZY watch as she speaks, holding back emotions).So many people say to me ‘Oh Shannon, how do you do it alone? How do you watch someone you love so much get so sick? How do you keep it together?” But I hadn’t done anything alone until I lost you. You were there for it all, I would do anything to hear you call out “Teebah, can we go to the soda shop?”. I’d do anything to see the looks on the girl’s faces when we came home from treatment. I’d do anything to make you spaghetti one more time. Taking care of you was never a chore, having the time with you was a gift that I didn’t deserve. (SHANNON turns to IZZY and SAVANNAH) You girls can spread some, if you feel like it. Or say something, whatever you want.
(IZZY walks towards SHANNON, grabs a small handful of ashes and drops them into the water. As the ashes blend with the water, the sound of rain beginning to fall.)
SHANNON: That’s him. (Looks up to sky) He’s showing us he’s here. He’s showing us he loves us.
(IZZY’s character begins to cry.)
(Lights dim on scene. Projection comes down showing IZZY’S face on screen looking forward, tears softly running down.)
NARRATION: Hey, Sean. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for a lot, and I’m sorry I never said it earlier. I miss you every day. I’ve been trying so hard to keep it together, and be strong. Mom’s not doing really well, honestly—none of us are. The house is too quiet without you around, and the dogs miss you a lot. Honestly Sean, I don’t know what to do. I’ve bottled all my pain up for so long and I haven’t cried about you yet. I was scared that if I let out the feelings that I’ve tried so hard to push down I’d never be able to reign them in again, and they’d take over. But they somehow managed to take over anyway, and I’m lost in the chaos of it all and I don’t know where to turn to feel normal again.
(Lights fade to black.)
SCENE 3: Projector reads “Two years ago”. Graduation. Big arena, bleachers all packed with families. Cheers all around. Students waiving to their families. IZZY sits in the student section with peers. IZZY smiling wide with a clear look of nervousness, looking into the audience to find family. Sees SHANNON, MIKE, SAVANNAH waving and cheering loudly- scene goes silent, actions continue. PROJECTOR STARTS, IZZYS face projected onto screen looking forward tears softly running down.
NARRATION: I wish you were here. I wish I could still hear your voice over the rest of the crowd and I wish I could hug you after this. I wish I could feel the safety I once did in your arms. I wish I could feel what It felt like to make you proud again. Most of all, I wish you knew that I do it all for you.
(Projector goes black, sounds of audience start again. Izzy turns to students around her and begins small talk. Lights fade to black.)
(PROJECTION – fast forwarded video of moving into college, meeting students in the dorms (specifically dark haired, medium skinned girl across the hall named Bianca), getting sorority bids, bid night with Bianca.)
SCENE 4: Chapter. Classroom, seats filled with girls in Kappa Alpha Theta sorority letters, chatting. Five adults at the front of the room seated (SPS employees at the school), all wearing basic pants and shirts meant for work. PROJECTOR reads “One year ago”.
ADULT 1: Okay everyone, please listen!
(Chatter fades).
ADULT 1: I know you’re all probably a little confused as to what is happening because this isn’t how chapter normally goes, but we have some information and we need everyone to listen. Before we start, some girls in the room already know the news and some who already know aren’t here. This is an extremely difficult conversation to have, so if anyone needs help processing or understanding the situation please feel comfortable reaching out to any of us at Student Psychological Services. (Girls in the room looking around, confused). Earlier today, the police identified the body of one of the members of your sorority. Bianca Red Arrow, was found dead in Redondo beach for reasons currently unknown. (Some girls begin to cry, others hug). Bianca’s closest friends, Kate, Neeley, Sam, and Amelia are in Orange County with Kates family … (sound fades).
(Lights dim on scene, characters continue to move around, hugging each other. Izzy sits facing forwards, not moving. Projection comes down showing IZZY’S face on screen looking forward, tears softly running down. Silence for 10 seconds. Lights rise on scene, sounds of people crying and consoling each other.)
SCENE 5: Classroom, 15 other students, professor at front lecturing.
PROFESSOR: The assignment that is due on Friday will be reviewed in class the following week, make sure that you pay attention to the AP-style guide and don’t forget about the quiz we have next week… (Sound fades).
(Lights dim on scene, characters continue to take notes, professor continues to lecture inaudibly. Izzy sits facing forwards, visibly exhausted (head leaning on hand). Projection comes down showing IZZY’S face on screen looking forward, tears softly running down. Silence for 10 seconds. Lights rise on scene, sounds on scene rise and students begin to pack up their bags and exit the class room. Lights fade to black.)
SCENE 7: Izzy’s bedroom. Plain walls, bed in center. Izzy wakes up in bed and reaches for cellphone. Looks at the screen for a few seconds and then puts phone down with a concerned expression. She lays back down in bed and curls into a ball.
(Lights dim on scene. Projection comes down showing IZZY’S face on screen looking forward, tears softly running down.)
NARRATION: How could I forget? It’s your birthday. I didn’t even realize, it’s just… I’ve been so busy with work and I moved back to Seattle this summer to try to heal and I guess I just pushed you out of my mind while trying to do that. I know they didn’t mean to upset me with the “I’m thinking about you today” texts, but it’s hard to feel normal when you’re constantly dodging the things that make you feel different. I can’t go a day without being reminded of you, and reliving the sunken feeling of realizing what I’ll never have again. I miss you a lot, but I don’t know what to do. Self-medicating with tequila shots and one-night-stands isn’t helping as much as it feels like but those seconds of normalcy are enough to keep me going and I’m worried. I’m worried about myself, in the way I wish I worried about you. I don’t know what to do B, I haven’t felt this lost in a long time and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to find who I was again.
(Lights rise on scene, sound of quiet crying can be heard. Lights fade to black.)
SCENE 8:Outside on street, leaves are changing to yellow for fall. Izzy walking on sidewalk, carrying bag with school supplies. Looking around, begins to slow down as expression changes to sadness. Izzy begins to shake and cry (experiencing a panic attack), sits down on a nearby bench.
(Lights dim on scene, Izzy continues to have panic attack inaudibly. Projection comes down showing IZZY’S face on screen looking forward, tears softly running down.)
NARRATION:I don’t understand. (Silence for three seconds). There’s no escaping these feelings. Everywhere I look I’m reminded of the pain and the confusion, I’m constantly being pulled back to how I felt when we cried on the chapel floor at your vigil. I’ve spent the last year looking for answers to help me feel normal again, to mend the rip you left in my heart and fill the carcus of a body I drag around. I don’t want to feel this way when I see the changing leaves and remember that it’s been a year without you, I don’t want to wish to be with you, I don’t want to think about how badly I’m hurting and how I’ll always feel this hurt. But I think I know now that there aren’t answers, I won’t feel the same way I did before and the walls I’m building around me are only making my future harder. As much as I wish you would be a part of my future, I have to accept you won’t be. As much as I think I want to jump in a time machine and go back to tell you how much you mean to me, to revisit the last moments we had together and cherish them more than I did because I know more now, I know I can’t and there’s no use in torturing myself with desires that can’t be met. I love you, B. But I can’t keep doing this to myself. I love you, remember that.
(Lights rise on scene, Izzy’s breathing and crying can be heard. Slowly, she regains normal breathing patterns. She stands up, picks up her bag, and walks off stage. Lights fade to black.)
**This short play was written for my Genres: Drama class in the Spring of 2019. It focuses on my personal experience dealing with grief following the loss of my uncle Sean when I was 15 years old, and the loss of my friend Bianca when I was 19 years old.